A firefly beauty.

"Life can be a shadow dance. Tiptoeing between this world and the next, learning to be a steward on the journey of someone you love." ~ Heart Stories

My shadow dance is with my Mom, 89, who is holding her own in the face of a body that is no longer cooperating. I sense she is examining her life in a way she has not done before. Mom will always be that firefly beauty of my childhood, Tango-ing across the surface of life, dancing and singing her way with light and joy. Mom filled her days with song and movement, even on Saturday mornings when she, often sporting a pantsuit, fired up the vacuum cleaner and sang along to the blasting vocals of Tom Jones and "What's New Pussycat."

She remains a beauty (I call her Sophia in honor of one of her style icons, Sophia Loren); her spark is still present during these challenging times as she learns to walk again, a painstaking process with the outcome unclear.

These days I sense she is moving from walking on the surface of life to something deeper, a place she hasn’t explored until now. Although she keeps most of it internal, I feel it and see it behind her eyes.

I am doing my best to be the steward on this journey versus selfishly losing myself under all the emotions I feel below her surface. I sense her regrets, fears, uncertainty. We both miss my Dad immensely though I know he is with us every day. I can feel his energy and sometimes see a flash of his spirit or soul out of the corner of my eye. I draw my Mom's attention to Dad's presence as well.

I don't want her to be afraid. I pray she graces us with more Tangos (albeit from her walker and wheelchair) in the days and months ahead. I pray for peace for my Mom and peace for myself. 

I am sending all of you embraced in a similar shadow dance an enormous hug and healing light. 

A wise friend reminded me this week that when we feel most alone is the time when we are closest to God. I hope you feel that too.

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